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PODCAST TRANSCRIPT:
Welcome to Keystone! On Keystone our goal is to fortify Latter-day Saint faith and combat misinformation through good old-fashioned research. I’m your host, David Snell. Let’s jump right in!
So, I strongly believe that questions and doubts about faith can either be the wind that sinks your ship or fills your sails. The ultimate outcome may very well depend on what you do with the wind—or how you approach and manage your questions. In this episode, I want to talk about a framework originally outlined by Bruce and Marie Hafen that can help us work through tough questions in a productive, hopeful way.
Within this framework, there are 3 stages or phases. They are Simplicity, Complexity, and Simplicity beyond Complexity. Stage One is the idealistic butterflies and rainbows stage. The Church is great, your ward is great, life is great. Everything is awesome. The Hafens’ bluntly describe stage One as “innocent and untested.”
Stage Two is complexity. If you think Stage One is all there is, running into Stage Two can be really painful. Maybe you discover information from hostile or friendly sources that doesn’t quite square with the idealistic view of the Church you had before. Maybe a Church leader says or does something you disagree with. Maybe there’s a past or present Church policy that doesn’t make sense to you. You notice that there’s a bit of a gap between the ideal and the real.
Despite the difficulty of stage two, staying in stage one really shouldn’t be your goal, either. The Hafens taught, “When we don’t see the gap [between the ideal and the real], or we focus only on the ideal while blocking out the real, our perspective lacks depth. If this is our paradigm, faith can be both blind and shallow because it lacks awareness and careful thought. These limitations can keep us from extending our roots into the soil of real experience deeply enough to form the solid foundation needed to withstand the strong winds of adversity. Growing deep roots requires that we learn to work through uncomfortable realities.”
At the same time, you don’t want to get stuck for too long in stage two, either. Quoting the Hafens once again, “…despite the value of becoming aware of complexity, one’s acceptance of the clouds of uncertainty can become so complete that the iron rod fades into the surrounding mists, and skepticism becomes not just a helpful tool but a guiding philosophy.”
How you react to Stage Two makes all the difference. Some people choose to escape complexity by leaving the Church — for some, the gap between the ideal and the real is just too great. That’s their choice, and we’re not going to judge them. But leaving is not the only option on the table. For many people, there’s still Stage Three to look forward to—Simplicity Beyond Complexity.
The Hafens taught that “In Stage One, the inexperienced person seems to have all of the answers, but may not yet know many of the questions. In Stage Two, that same person can have all of the questions, but few of the answers.”
Those in Stage Three recognize and come to terms with complexity, while also finding value in, and where possible, working towards the ideal in realistic ways. Complex issues have perhaps helped refine their faith, but they don’t feel the gap is so wide that they need to leave the Church because of them. It’s not a blind faith, but an informed and a trusting faith. When they notice a gap between the ideal and the real, they acknowledge the gap and, if possible, try to close the gap. For example, if their local ward isn’t as warm and inviting as they’d hoped, instead of not coming back, they try to be the warm and inviting people in the ward.
Once you understand this 3-Stage framework, you see it all over the place. For example, oftentimes when you’re dating someone everything seems like butterflies and rainbows. You’re the ideal match and you’re going to get married and live happily ever after. That’s Stage One. Then you get married and soon realize that your spouse has flaws that maybe you didn’t know about earlier. Maybe you disagree on how to manage finances or on how to raise kids. That’s part of Stage Two: Complexity.
Sometimes the gap between the ideal spouse and the real spouse may be too great and may result in divorce. Others will work through the complexities and go on to have a beautiful marriage on the other side of complexity. They are aware of each other’s flaws and work through some of them, but they still both love and value each other despite them.
If you’re going to formulate expectations, expect to find complexity, but recognize that complexity is oftentimes OK—all is not automatically lost. Look for that beautiful kind of settled simplicity that lies beyond complexity.
Now, how exactly do you move from Stage Two to Stage Three? Speaking for myself, when I run into complexity there are a few general principles I try to remember: First, don’t panic. Dealing with complexity may not be fun, but it’s important to take your time and do good, efficient homework to understand the complexity. Sometimes it may turn out that things aren’t as complex as they seem.
As you do your homework, try to meet complexity with an attitude of humility and meekness. Be ready and willing to be wrong sometimes, and be willing to make paradigm shifts where necessary. We learn “line upon line; here a little, and there a little.” The missionaries are trained to teach the basics of the restored gospel. They’re not trained to walk you through 200 years of Church History. Learning about this stuff is super important, but it’s not what missionaries are for, it’s not what general conference is for, and it’s not even what our church services are for. Today the Church has excellent resources available to help introduce us to the complexities, but it is ultimately up to each of us to do our homework.
The Hafens taught, “We need to look longer and harder at difficult questions and pat answers, but without lurching from extreme innocence to extreme skepticism. Today’s world is full of hard-core skeptics who love to ‘enlighten’ those who are stuck in idealistic simplicity, offering them the doubt and agnosticism of complexity as a seemingly brave new way of life.”
Also, remember that as Latter-day Saints, we believe that God “will yet reveal many great and important things” to us. That implies that there are questions right now that we don’t have great answers to. So don’t set the expectation that you’re going to find answers to every question right away. We’re going to have to learn how to live with some ambiguity. Some people will be more comfortable with that than others. But as you decide what to do with that ambiguity, please don’t get so caught up in complexity that you forget those doctrines and beliefs that you do understand and that are beautiful and inspiring to you. Beware of tunnel vision.
Last but not least, another thing you can do at Stage Two is reach out for some added perspective from those who may already be in Stage Three. Chances are, none of the complexities you’re going to run into related to our faith are going to be new, and there are plenty of people and resources out there that can help. And of course, don’t forget to involve God in that process.
Speaking of history, while you’re here, you might want to check out episode #2 on this podcast, where we talk about the surprising testimony of an excommunicated former apostle. I’ll see you there.